Early this afternoon I found myself doubting myself. I had been comparing myself to other amazing moms I knew and was left feeling inadequate. I did a quick google search on "how to be a good mom" and found this article on Web MD. I know I can't be the only mother questioning "what the heck am I doing?!?". After reading the article, and taking a deep breath, I felt quite a bit better. Just a bit comforting. Here's an excerpt:
“It used to be that Supermom who went to work and had kids and kept the house clean. Now it’s trickled into, ‘I breastfed until my kid was 20 and now feed him only organics, take him to piano, soccer, and oh, by the way, I’m a size 6 and my hair always looks great!’” The expectations for moms are unrealistic, she says.
Anyway, Bai is awake from her nap now, and off I go to be a good mom. Thanks for listening.
12 years ago
12 comments:
Beth, you are a GOOD MOM! And you're not alone in the feeling of doubting yourself. All of us do. Especially the first time around. Sometimes I wonder how "first kids" even turn out since it's all trial and error with them. Just know that you KNOW best for Bailey. Good luck. I've seen you with her. And she's very blessed to have YOU as her mother.
Thanks for sharing that little bit from the article. That made my day. I'm sure you are a great mom, especially if you are feeling inadequate. That just means you are wanting to do better and we all can relate to that.
Oh Beth, I don't mean to laugh, but that kind of makes me laugh. You ARE a good mom. I can see it. And yes, the ideas for moms are unrealistic, I agree!
Keep your chin up. I love you, and I miss you!
oh BETH!!!! you are such A GOOD MOM. YOU JUST THINK ABOUT IT WAY TOO MUCH. jUST DO WAT YOUR HEART SAYS AND EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT. REMEMBER...THE FIRST ONE IS A TRIAL RUN, YOU GET BETTER TEH MORE YOU HAVE AND YOU LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES YOU'VE MADE. nO ONE IS A PERFECT MOM SO DON'T TRY TO BE. jUST LOVE HER AND CARE FOR HER AND SHE WILL BE FINE!
Thanks everyone, I just felt uber frustrated. But a deep breath and a little prayer and I feel a lot better.
TRUST ME, we ALL have those days!!! I just pray everyday that I don't mess the kids up while I figure it all out! It's nice to hear other Mom's going through the same thing! Just love her! There was a poem that my mom hung on the wall at our home growing up. It said, "cooking and cleaning can wait 'till tomorrow. Babies grow up, I've learned to my sorrow..." It's a cute little poem. Google it if you want! Luckily tomorrow's another day and little kids are SO forgiving! Keep smiling!
I think we all feel inadequate at times, but you are a wonderful mother. Don't ever doubt it. And Bailey loves you. There's days where I feel like I haven't been a good mom to Natalie because I've been focusing so much on what I want to get done, but when I take the time to play with her and let her help me with things I need to do, I feel so much better about myself and I know Natalie is happier too. There has to be a balance in everything. You are such a sweet mom. I love watching you and Bailey together.
I think all moms have days like that--where is seems that we can never match up to what we think we're supposed to be. I know I have days like that! Thanks for sharing the article & keep up the good work, 'cause I know that you're a good mom! Do you guys now when you're coming for Christmas yet? We need to plan a girls night with everyone!
Oooh Crystal, I'm so excited. I'm not sure exactly when, most likely just before Christmas through New Years. Awesome to have something to look forward to! I miss you guys!
I know what you mean!!! I wish I could tell you that for me it got better, but I still have those times of feeling overwhelmed and doubting myself (probably on a daily basis - seriously)! And those moms that you're comparing yourself to... I'm sure if you ask them how things REALLY are they would tell you that they also feel overwhelmed and unsure a lot! (At least that is what I have found out from talking with women who I always thought were "perfect".) Funny thing is, you are probably one of those moms that others are also comparing themselves to and thinking how amazing you are! And one thing's for sure - you are an amazing mother and woman!
I just hope that my girls can turn out somewhat normal despite all of my parenting flaws. It is so much harder than I ever imagined. Some days are just HARD!
Good luck!
i almost called you that morning too. maybe i should listen more closely!!! and seriously you know you arent a bad mother. just dont ever compare yourself to other moms because that's not fair. who knows what their skeletons are!
I'm going to read the article right now, but I can so RELATE. Sometimes I just feel like throwing up my hands and stop reading all that we are "supposed" to do because I feel so overwhelmed with it all. And I only have 1 kid.
I had a ton of fear around becoming a mother before getting pregnant with Caleb. It was a huge struggle and it was very difficult for Dan because he wanted to start our family so bad. I was afraid of screwing up my kids. What I realized is that as long as I LOVE them it will all turn out. Sure, they might not come out unscathed, but who does?
Dan always would tell me "your intention will always come out in the end even if you mess up. As long as they know you love them, it will be ok". Kids are so forgiving..THANK HEAVENS or I would be screwed. It's something I think I will always struggle with, but I had to do a lot of internal work before ever getting pregnant and I think it was such a blessing that it was so hard to get pregnant with Caleb cause it made me re-evaluate my view on motherhood and how badly I really did want it even though I knew I wouldn't be perfect. It took the fear out of it for me which I am so grateful.
Being pregnant with number 2 I have experienced some feelings of anxiety of "can I really do this?" Well, we CAN! We have the gospel which helps us SO MUCH as long as we keep things in perspective. I'm glad you posted about this cause it has been on my mind lately.
Sorry about the novel:-).
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