On yesterday's Oprah she was talking to moms. They were all confessing the craziness that is now their everyday life. Mostly trying to help mothers understand that their feelings of inadequacy are normal. One woman spoke of a road trip she was on with her family and how she had to pee. She saw that her two children were asleep and didn't want to risk pulling over at a rest stop so she pulled out a diaper, did her deed, and kept driving!! Wow! In Bailey's short 7 1/2 months I have yet to experience anything too outrageous, but I have seen signs of what is to come!!
She loves paper, in any form. Magazines, mail, coupons; she loves it, and wants to eat it. I'll let her play with it as long as she keeps her pacifier in so she doesn't actually eat it. But, when I try to take it away, she goes nuts! Flailing arms, arching her back and wailing. Good grief!! Her little personality is definitely apparent. Heaven help us when she is old enough to actually use words, or worse, becomes a teenage.
I can admit that I thought of taking a job just to be able to put her in daycare and get a break from her once in a while. Even if my income only covered the cost of the childcare. Thank goodness Chance is so wonderful. We've agreed that at least once a week I need a couple of hours away, even if it's grocery shopping alone, or roaming Target. I'm even excited when he takes her out of the house so I can clean without thinking of her. I do love her, but for the safety of all involved, that little break is now something I look forward to.
So, I know that all of you who are mothers have had to deal with tempers and craziness. Most of you have more experience too. I'll take any advice you might have to help get through the tough times, also, if you have any crazy stories you'd like to share, I'd love a laugh about the true lives of mothers. Then maybe I won't be so shocked when she does something truly crazy!!
12 years ago
11 comments:
I too saw that Oprah episode yesterday. It was nice to have someone actually voicing how hard it is to be a mom. I was just laughing at some of their confessions. Like pretending you don't hear your child when they are crying or skipping pages when you read them a story. I was just laughing and thinking to myself "doesn't everybody do that?" It is true what they were saying that once you become a mother you have to reinvent yourself. I think I am still trying to learn that. Seriously sometimes I feel like my day doesn't really start until 8 pm when the kids go to bed. I finally get a moment to myself. I agree that breaks are the key to keeping your sanity. Sometimes when Rick gets home at the end of the day I just hand him the kids, grab the keys, and just go for a drive because I feel like if I don't get out of the house and away from the kids I am going to lose my mind. I love my kids but being a mom is hard! I have been trying to enjoy that part more. Anyway this is a fun post idea. It is good to have support from other moms. Motherhood is a wild ride!
I saw the Oprah yesterday, too. And while I thought SOME of it was funny, I was saddened by so much negativity about motherhood. Sure I've been on the brink of insanity before but I knew it would be this way. I don't feel like you need to REDEFINE motherhood. However, you do recreated a new normal once you have kids.
I have hard kids. I'm not gonna lie. But you have to laugh, and get out, and just enjoy it. It's not going to be this way forever so why not just go with the flow!?
I recorded that Oprah and just finished watching it. It is comforting to know that other moms out there have similar feelings sometimes... I feel like I have it pretty good with just one, but we all deserve a break every once in a while. That's great your hubby gives you that time alone each week.
Dang--sounds like I missed out on an awesome Oprah! I definitely agree that being a mom is hard work, but great joy also comes with that! Now I just have to remind myself of that when Jace is sick and screaming his head off! Keep up the great work Bethy-pooh--love ya :)
I watched a little of that Oprah, I laughed at a lot of things :)
Being a mom is the hardest job. some of the best advice that I have recieved was: Don't worry about the mess, don't worry about the bills, or the laundry... just make happy memories with your kids.
Also, really do get away. It does wonders to actually take a long shower, then walk the isles of Target while drinking a berry smoothie! Make sure you remember to take time for yourself- and hire a babysitter and go out with your husband!! :)
For a story, today we were at the grocery store and my 3 year old saw someone who was smoking. He yelled at him from across the parking lot "Hey you, smoking is bad and it will kill you! Didn't your mommy tell you that?"
I was SO embarrassed, but also proud that he knows it is bad!
Just remember, all of us moms have been there so if you need to get out- do it, if you need a new shirt- buy it, and if you need more stories- I got them, just ask :)
Oh Beth I TOTALLY understand!! You just love this little person to DEATH, but sometimes....you're lucky to have both of you alive and well at the end of the day! And sadly (after 4 1/2 years) I still have days when I just don't know how I'm going to make it! It is so hard! The other day I just broke down sobbing (twice) because Carly and Ellie were being such terrors - fighting, being SO disobedient and the house, of course, was a COMPLETE mess and the baby needed attention! Some days are just so hard and others are wonderful.
I definitely think it helps to get out of the house (I always appreciate my girls more even if I've only been gone for an hour).
I've been on my knees several times in the middle of a crazy and insane day just crying and begging and pleading for help to make it through! Another thing that keeps me going is knowing that being a mother is what I am supposed to do - what Heavenly Father wants me to be doing. And that makes me feel like what I'm doing is more important than just changing diapers, refereeing fights, and cleaning little people's messes - I'm taking care of His children. Another thing that I need to do better at is reading my scriptures every day. I know this would help to put my day in perspective and give me the Spirit to make it through the day.
I'm sure you are a wonderful Mommy Beth - keep it up!!!
p.s. I had to laugh at the story of the mom peeing in the diaper - my sister did the same thing a while back (maybe it was her)!
I missed that Oprah episode as well, probably because my day WAS so crazy! hehe. I loved reading that post though. What a fun read. It's so true everything you said. Happy days, hard days, dissapointing days, sad days, loving days...you name it, we have them. Sometimes with little girls you have all of those things in an hour! hahah, just wait! So much to look forward to:)
Your a wonderful person Beth. Bailey is so lucky to have you and Chance as her parents. I mean that. Seeing you two with her was so special. What deep love you guys have for her. And if there are days you need a break...than take one. You most definitely deserve it!
I love ya. Keep up the awesome mommy-ness, and don't lose that awesome bethy-pooh-ness in the process!
Miss you!
P.S. my most embarassing mommy story to date was at church when Adi was being a BEAR, and I had to get up to take her out again, and that was it, it was my last straw, and we were going home(I was single this sunday as caleb was at work) and as I stood up grabbing Emi in the carseat, and Adi by the arm, I stepped on my skirt and de-skirted myself for all of the meeting to see!(that's how it felt anyway. In reality maybe only a few saw, but it was enough for me to be horrified!) got to love kids!
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes moms just need a break! Children are so wonderful, but it is definitely important to have some alone time away from them in order to recharge. I can tell you that it gets easier. As she gets older and more independent, you will have more time to do things for yourself. Just know that she will still be right there with you in the bathroom or in whatever room you are, but if you keep the toys handy, she will probably let you do more than you are able to do now. I think I have finally hit the stage with Natalie where she can play by herself as long as I am in the same room as her. It's so nice! If you ever would like a break or just a date with your hubby, give me a call and I'd love to babysit!
We need to just do more girls nights! That will keep all of us mothers sane. Also, when you need a break during the day, just come over to my house and hang out. It is easier with 2 of us together!
I love to read that even you have moments with your special little one. Hayden is the same way with having his favorite things taken away from him. Lately the only thing that gives me a break when I think I need one is to get him to laugh by being as silly as I can be. I even can get him to yell with me till he can't anymore because he is laughing. I wish I could see you be a mother. We know you are wonderful.
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